When did I learn to eat my feelings, to swallow them whole before they flew from my mouth or flashed from my eyes.
We have had a tiny visitor, she is two and has no trouble expressing exactly how she feels from moment to moment.
I on the other hand have long since learned it’s easier to go with the flow, but as I am moving into my second fifty years (yep I’m going to make it past 100) I am starting to think about what I really want from life.
Currently what I want and what I am getting are way out of sync…….I have been in a funk, a blue funk.
Funnily enough I just visited a favorite blog Zen Habits and Leo happened to be talking straight to me!
Does that ever happen to you?
Having been ill, menopausal, stressed, and just last week falling like a sack of potatoes and cracking a rib, I know I need a bit of time out. Time to renew my love with my husband (whom I’ve been really really cranky with), time to sleep, to walk, to pick the wildflowers without feeling guilty that should be doing something else ‘more productive’, time to find me again.
Time to reconnect with this Simple Life that we love.
Sam has been unwell, he has gone through a number of hospital tests for allergies, guess what he’s allergic to cats (up till today we had eight, now we have six), stone fruit (we have an orchard), dust (well just don’t even go there) so he is doomed lol. He’s been told to loose weight, and I need to join him, so it’s a change of diet to come.
Carina is a teenage girl with all the drama that goes with the age. Luca is just Luca.
I am slowly going around the bend and beating myself up constantly for not being this incredible switched on blogging superwoman, for not having a perfectly clean house, or a ‘perfect’ Mum, wife, daughter, sister, friend.
So according to Leo “It’s OK to be in Funk Town now and then. We all do it, so you’re not alone at all. It’s human to go through ups and downs, to not always be on a high. We sometimes doubt ourselves, sometimes get really tired, sometimes suffer. Because of your experience in Funk Town, you’ll be stronger and wiser and ready to take on the next challenge with renewed gratitude.”
So I may be posting daily, or weekly, or even miss a week (I’ll try not to do that anymore), but I will be posting. I can’t exactly tell you where it will lead, I have no certainty from moment to moment anymore, but I am ever the optimist so I know it will all turn out okay in the end.
I am thinking of doing a Year of Simplicity……because if I don’t do something soon I’m going to disappear. I’ll still be posting about Italy, our simple life and all that goes with living in a medieval renovation, but sharing the ups and downs on a personal level as well.
Hope to chat with you here, to connect on a deeper level and to share what we really deal with, to be honest with each other……..can we do that?